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The Dogs Bollocks

Every now and then we stumble upon a little gem, and when this little gem is situated at the foot of table mountain in the Mother City, you take a deep breath and realise that life is good (as it should be).

Dog’s Bollocks
A Definition…In UK slang terms the “dog’s bollocks” means the best. It comes from the habit of male dog’s licking their testicles (bollocks) and that they must taste good as they spend so much time in this activity.

We finally got our butts over to The Dogs Bollocks (after months and months of wanting to go) and it was AWESOME!

This driveway -come- burger joint is situated in a garage just off a little side street in Gardens.
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– From our table looking out onto the street (Left), Bottle of wine and “wine glasses” (Right)

Once inside, we were welcomed  to such a great vibe – the “restaurant” was just about packed already and the music was pumping, there were dudes driving their motorbikes up through the restaurant to the back section (where the Deluxe Coffeeworks was having a private function). We quickly found a table, ordered a bottle of wine from the bar (R60), grabbed 2 glasses and took it all in… but not for too long because if you don’t already know, the burgers at Dogs Bollocks are limited edition. The owner (Nigel) only prepares 50 burgers a night and they are sold on a first come, first served basis and when they’re done, they’re done 🙂 We didn’t want to miss out so we wrote our name on the chalkboard (indicating that we were after 2 burgers) and placed our order with Nigel himself.
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– Menu

There are 13 burgers on the menu. They are all beef and they are all the same price (R60)

MENU:
Po Boy – Plain
Cheese – 2 slices of cheddar cheese
Garlic Black Pepper – Garlic black pepper sauce
Jalapeno Cheese – Homemade pickled Jalapeno’s
Mexican Chilli Cheese – House specialty- Spicy chilli con carne with mince,  red kidney beans and cheese sauce
Pepper mushroom – Mushrooms with garlic black pepper sauce
Sweet Chilli with Cheese – Sweet chilli sauce with cheddar cheese
Pepperberry Blue – Light blue cheese sauce with sliced pepperdews
New Yorker – Arabiata with olives, capers and cheese sauce
Chilli Chocolate Mole – Sweet and spicy chilli chocolate
Prego – Classic Portuguese sauce with lotsa chilli and garlic
Vegan – with any sauce
3B – Cheese, Bacon, BBQ

Lop went for the New Yorker (because it has OLIVES on it – he is actually obsessed!!) and I went for the Chilli Chocolate Mole because I wanted to try something completely different. I have had a chilli chocolate steak in the past but never have I ever heard of a chilli chocolate burger before 🙂

It wasn’t long after we had ordered that we heard our names being called out – it’s all self-service at DB which is actually great, takes away all the fuss and keeps us all on our toes 😉 I went up to collect our burgers and I am surprised I made it back to the table in one piece because LOOK at the size of these bad boys!
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– Chilli Chocolate Mole (Left), New Yorker (Right)

The burgers are served sommer net so – wrapped up in some paper – no cutlery, no plates, no fuss and there is no time to hold back… you have to get down and dirty with these burgers because if you don’t make the first move, they will probably swallow you whole. They are huge, massive, out of this world and they are soooo yummy 🙂
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– Being OWNED by our DB Burgers (Left & Right)

Ooh, I almost forgot – you can only order wine by the bottle or a small selection of cold-drinks so if you fancy a beer (or whatever) then you need to bring your own. (and as long as you bring in a few extraFOR THE AWESOME CHEFS – then there is NO corkage charge… seriously, sharing is caring).

What you need to know:

  • Open Monday to Friday 5pm till SOLD OUT (Nigel only makes 50 burgers a night)
  • Get there early, grab a seat, get a drink, place you order straight away – there is no time for faffing about
  • Leave your table manners at the door
  • Grab some serviettes when you collect your burger from the bar – you need about 20 serviettes per burger so bring your own if you are prone to eating like a princess
  • Get ready to be OWNED by a massive, messy burger
  • And finally, ENJOY!

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 Orders board (Left), Nigel doing his thing (Middle), Our bill (Right)

What a treat! The Dogs Bollocks is definitely one of Cape Towns best kept secrets 🙂

Dogs Bollocks Burger Joint
Open Monday to Friday 17:00 to 22:00
6 Roodehek Street, Gardens
Tel: 083 440 7843
Location: 6 Roodehek St, Cape Town 8001, South Africa

This gem of a driveway is also known as Yard which is home to 3 great food concepts – The Dogs Bollocks (by night), The Bitches Tits (by day) and the Deluxe Coffeeworks coffee bar.

Next stop… The Bitches Tits – for a daytime adventure (Watch this space… I foresee great shenanigans 🙂

See you again soon Dogs Bollocks 😉
xxx

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